38 Ways to Make Your Unpaid Internship More Interesting
2013-01-10 08:41 PMComment
If you’re not getting paid for your internship and the tasks you’re given are a complete waste of time, you might as well have a bit of fun with it. We reckon you should get a little bit ‘creative’, especially if you want to stave off the utter tedium of making endless cups of tea and photocopying. Here’s our list of 38 ways to make your unpaid internship more interesting. Proceed with caution…
1. Sidle up to your supervisor. Breathe heavily down their neck.
2. Pick your nose. Name each bogey after a Charles Dickens character.
3. Convince everyone you’re homeless by spending your lunch breaks on a park bench, drinking empty cans of Special Brew and shouting incoherently at swans.
4. Come dressed as Fabio Capello.
5. End every email “with deepest sympathies.”
6. When it’s lunchtime, start chopping onions at your desk.
7. Set up a registered charity: 'Pay the Penniless Intern Fund'. Post doleful pictures of yourself around the office, “Just £4.98 an hour will keep me warm and fed.” Take round a collection box.
8. Come to work dressed as Jesus. On the cross.
9. Ask a friend to come along and translate everything you say into sign language.
10. Make a shrine to Princess Diana on your desk. Release a live dove every lunchtime.
11. Fashion a new walk every day - mince, waddle, totter, roll.
12. Replace the word ‘toner’ with ‘boner’, and the word ‘phone’ with ‘bone’. “I think the photocopier’s run out of boner. Shall I bone an engineer?”
13. Answer the bone using a different accent each time.
14. Give your supervisor a ‘clever’ nickname. “I know your name’s Cheryl Thompson. But I’m going to call you Chompson.”
15. Wrap your feet in goose fat and newspapers. Shuffle noisily around the office.
16. Feign utter incompetence at tea-making. Use six teabags in each mug. Serve peppermint tea with milk.
17. Make a voodoo doll out of chewed-up bits of paper. Stare pointedly at your manager and slowly push a pin through it. Sigh loudly when nothing happens.
18. High-five your computer every time you successfully send an email.
19. If another intern is sucking up too much, dab some melted chocolate on the end of your nose. See if they get the message.
20. Hug everyone in the office when you return from your lunch break.
21. Make a homely nest under your desk out of stationery supplies. Squawk loudly if someone tries to take something.
22. If you’re asked to post an envelope, open it first and say: “Just checking.”
23. Keep a car horn, swanee whistle and pair of cymbals close to hand. Provide 'hilarious' sound-effects for any colleague mishaps.
24. Feign utter bafflement at what Microsoft Word is and how it works. “All new to me this, pal.”
25. Imitate a moving statue. Only complete a task if someone puts a coin in your hat.
26. Keep up a low and consistent hum every time someone speaks to you.
27. Unsettle co-workers by convincing them you’re a mole. Not an undercover spy hired by the MD, but a small mammal. Squint blindly and spend most of the day in the stationery cupboard. For extra believability, decorate and attach a small chipolata to each hand for the 'second thumb' effect.
28. Cultivate a lisp.
29. Squirrel away tea bags in your cheeks.
30. Stick a Skittle on the middle of your forehead. See if anyone notices. Gradually add more until you make a pattern.
31. Every time you’re asked a question, spin around on your office chair at least twice before answering.
32. Post-it notes are a great alternative to clothes.
33. Refer to yourself in the third person. “Bobby will do some data inputting, but Bobby will resent every ****ing moment of it.”
34. Comb your hair. Constantly.
35. Call in a beautician. Get an “unpaid intern” vajazzle (or pejazzle) at your desk.
36. Punctuate everything you say with hand claps.
37. Laugh loudly at everything the boss says. Invite them to a spa break for two.
38. Wear a cheerleader’s outfit. Give me a U. Give me an N. Give me a P. Give me an A. Give me an I. Give me a D. What does it spell? Exploitation.
Disclaimer: AllAboutCareers.com accepts no responsibility for moronic students who actually do any of these things during their internship. If you want some real advice on the issue of tackling unpaid internships, click here.
Image courtesy of Mollypop, ‘Picking Nose’